So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
