so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
