No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ketchup is God's man juice
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Shame - the story of my life.
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