They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
