my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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