Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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