Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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