I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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