Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
