Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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