Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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