Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
