dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Randomize
