FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
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you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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