i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
