with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
