just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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