Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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