Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
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And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
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