I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
