I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
