did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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