Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
