so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
