you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
