How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
