Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
