I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
