Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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