I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
