Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize