This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
