What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
