I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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