I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Who wears a wallet chain?!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
