We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
