Grow some girl-balls and come out already
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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