WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
