Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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