But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
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Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
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I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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