Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize