i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
