OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
