I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
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Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
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I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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