this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
