using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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