I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize