It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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