My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
