he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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