good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize