apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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