I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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