What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.