You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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