My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
