you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
