yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
