It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
