Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
