At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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